Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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