I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
