My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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