shes about as inviting as chlamydia
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
