I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
