I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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