playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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