I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
