Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
