are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
