I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
