There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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