but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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