were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
