I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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