; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
where are my pants?
in the oven.