I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever