You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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