Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.