I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.