I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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