The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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