someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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