Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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