good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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