I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
