do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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