I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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