It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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