So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
