are you so shy because you have an std?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
