YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
