i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
