Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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