bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
