The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just had sex on a roof
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
