I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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