i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
