Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
