dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
