Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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