PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
