That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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