I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't deserve a penis
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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