dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
