Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
