please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
