you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can u get pink eye on your cock?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
