Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
