we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
