So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
