Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
