Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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