it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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