yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
