it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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