Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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