I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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