tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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