I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
one two three fourrrrnication!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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