Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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