He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize