He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
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He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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