Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
