The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"