Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment