guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan