Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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