): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works