Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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  (828): what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before http://tfl.nu/qvbs
  Replies (7) Good night (721) Bad night (3142)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

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  (862): i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge http://tfl.nu/uife
  Replies (12) Good night (1122) Bad night (4131)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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  (480): I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows http://tfl.nu/5bqe
  Replies (21) Good night (6134) Bad night (754)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that's spring break in florida for ya

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  (301): seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything... (443): that's spring break in florida for ya http://tfl.nu/f4zu
  Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (2440)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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  (917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl
  Replies (27) Good night (5462) Bad night (2605)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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  (406): One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts? http://tfl.nu/1591
  Replies (14) Good night (1356) Bad night (4161)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war

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  (603): i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war http://tfl.nu/r6ab
  Replies (12) Good night (4121) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

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  (914): my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person. http://tfl.nu/80cc
  Replies (41) Good night (5804) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

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  (304): Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me. http://tfl.nu/4mjy
  Replies (14) Good night (3173) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin

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  (209): we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin http://tfl.nu/oa4p
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

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  (864): Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that. http://tfl.nu/ou7s
  Replies (6) Good night (2138) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

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  (646): I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could. http://tfl.nu/xxra
  Replies (6) Good night (1522) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.

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  (609): When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ourm
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Let's have sex in an apple orchard

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  (860): Let's have sex in an apple orchard http://tfl.nu/g582
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.

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  (+44): Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that. http://tfl.nu/vjrp
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (189)

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