Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
