You work out of a Hotel?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
