he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
