so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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