I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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