the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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