Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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