Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
